6 Things You Should Stop Doing NOW!
Here are 6 things you should stop doing because they are holding you back in your career, life and relationships!
Things You Should Stop Doing 1: Stop Wasting Time On Social Media
I’ve listed this first because Filipino’s spend more time on Social Media than any other country!
We Are Social and Hootsuite report that the average Filipino currently spends almost double the amount of time on Social Media each day, than people in other countries (4 hours & 15 minutes)
Viewing Social Media is also addictive. For many people the first and last thing they do each day is pick up their phone and go to Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok. That’s fine when it’s on your own time but if you struggle to put your phone down, when at work, that is a BIG problem.
If you want to get ahead in your career, or be picked for new projects or opportunities, ask your Manager if there is anything you can assist them with, during the quiet moments at work. Instead of slinking off to catch up with social media and getting caught in the act of ‘slacking off’, on the company’s dime.
Things You Should Stop Doing 2: Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
This follows on neatly from stop wasting time on social media because, in today’s world, that is where the habit of comparing yourself is most likely to take place.
Before cellphones and social media, people only had the opportunity to compare themselves to their school mates if they became famous, famously rich, or when they met again at their high school reunion.
Now we are hit with daily posts about the supposed successes and amazing lives of our friends, relatives and neighbors from their carefully curated Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and blogs.
But guess what? Just as no-one really knows what goes on ‘behind closed doors’ in your home, the same is true for them.
- That friend who is traveling the world and living an enviable life could be hiding their sadness at their inability to find a soul mate, or conceive much-desired children.
- That cousin who is already a CEO at 30 could be going home exhausted and stressed every night and craving a job which doesn’t drain them of all their joy and energy.
- That friend who just bought their first home could be staying home not because they’re ‘nesting’ or ‘think they’re better than you’. They could be staying home because they’re struggling to pay their mortgage and no longer have money to join their friends for a meal out.
Certainly, you can look to your friends and peers for inspiration or drive but don’t assume they are doing better than you. And don’t be afraid to want a different life either. Not everyone wants the “norm” of College, Career, Marriage, Home and Children.
Things You Should Stop Doing 3: Stop With The Negative Self-talking
Negative thoughts can lead to loss of confidence. They can stop you from progressing forward in your life. And they can cause you to have suspicion of others, who see you more positively than you do. Negative thoughts can lead to decreased motivation, anxiety, stress, feelings of helplessness and depression.
If you know you are too self-negative keep these things in mind:
- Don’t say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say to anyone else.
- Be gentle and encouraging towards yourself.
- If a negative thought enters your mind, think about it rationally; Is it true? Is it something someone once said to you out of anger, hurt or jealousy? Is it something you can change? Then respond with positive affirmations of what is good about you, or think about what you can do to improve yourself.
If you are stuck in the cycle of negativity, try this:
Things You Should Stop Doing 4: Stop Being Angry With Yourself
Whether it is because you think you failed at something, or something you said or did months or even years, ago. Or a bad situation you put yourself into. That time has gone! There is no point holding on to anger about it. If there is a lesson you can learn from it, do that. Otherwise, move on!
Anger can be a positive and useful emotion if it is expressed appropriately. But it can also be an incredibly damaging emotion resulting in:
- Problems with management, work colleagues, guests, or customers.
- Problems with Friends, family and loved ones.
- Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain
- Increased anxiety
- High blood pressure
- Skin problems, such as eczema
- Heart attack
Better Health has some suggestions you can follow to express your anger in a healthy way:
- Recognize and accept the emotion as normal and a part of life. However! If you are always angry and people are avoiding you, or you are getting into trouble at work, you do need to stop and think about what is causing your anger and fix it.
- Try to think about the exact reasons why you feel angry.
- Do something physical, such as going for a run or playing sport.
- Talk to someone you trust about how you are feeling.
Things You Should Stop Doing 5: Stop Being Around Toxic People
It seems that we are much more aware about things like Narcissistic Disorders and Gaslighting. But you may still have Toxic People in your life. People who may not seem obviously toxic. They can still have an impact on you, your self-worth, and your current and future relationships, whether work, love or family.
Toxic behaviors to watch out for and stay away from, especially at work:
- Dishonesty and lying
- Always ‘taking’ and rarely ‘giving’.
- Always taking credit for something they did not do, or only played a small part in.
- Apologies which don’t feel sincere.
- Not listening to you.
- Deliberately making you feel bad.
- Abusing their power
- self-absorption or self-centeredness
- Passive/Aggressive comments or responses.
- Constantly telling you that you are “Over-reacting”.
- Constantly making jokes about you and telling you that you are “over-reacting” or “can’t take a joke” if you get upset
- Blaming you as the reason for their actions or bad behavior.
- Victim mentality.
- Lack of empathy
- Superiority Complex
If you can’t avoid Toxic People, either because you work with them, are related to them, or you are part of the same social group, try these tips:
- Set Boundaries, be clear that you do not wish to engage in gossip.
- Have an Exit Strategy for when you see them; explain that you can’t continue to talk as you have work you need to complete you, or a call you need to make.
- Don’t share personal information, either your own or someone else’s
- Stay Calm
- Limit your time together or your routine, if they tend to find you when you are on a break or at lunch.
If you are affected by someone who is toxic, check out this helpful article How To Deal With Toxic People
Things You Should Stop Doing 6: Stop Letting Fear Control Your life
Fear is a very helpful emotion or sensation, and everyone experiences it … especially when entering into a situation that makes you vulnerable to attack or harm!
But it is not a helpful emotion if it is stopping you from progressing in your life or career!
Living in a constant state of fear can also cause gastrointestinal issues, including ulcers and Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS), depression, and fatigue from the constant adrenalin pumping through your body.
Sit and think about all the things that you fear, or which make you fearful. Most won’t be fears that come from a risk to your safety. Most of the time the fear comes from your mind fixating on “the worst-case scenario”; something that could go wrong, or affect our life:
“What if I say something stupid to a guest?”
“What if I lose my job?”
“What if my wife/husband cheats on me?”
“What if I fail my exams?”
Think about your fearful thoughts; be aware of them but don’t fixate on them.
Think about other times in your life when you were fearful, what happened? Did it all go wrong? Did your fears come true? How much time did you spend being fearful, only for everything to be fine?
Most of all, when you are feeling fearful, remember this:
- If it happens, you WILL deal with it! Just as you have dealt with things before.
- Employ logic to the situation, not emotion.
- Take control of what you can, and accept the things that you don’t have any control over.
- Recognize that some fear is healthy; it forces you to make changes, and usually for the better. Even if that ‘better’ isn’t clear to you until later in your life.
Sometimes it does “all go wrong” but often, when you look back at that time, you will see that because it happened, it brought you to where you are now. That might be a better job with a great company, a higher salary, a new partner, or it might have created a better, well-rounded, more confident YOU!